Update

Happy One Week Birthday, Movie Smoothie! It’s hard to believe that I’ve been posting to this blog for a week. I can’t say faithfully posting every day has been easy. In fact – it’s been really hard, but well worth all of the effort.

For those of you who have been following from the beginning, here’s my list of the top movies that I’ve watched so far. The order isn’t based on anything other than my pure enjoyment of the films. I’m not judging based on actors, film techniques, or any other critique system professional critics use. Just my old-fashioned “that was a great movie” opinion.

1.     The Matrix

2.     V for Vendetta

3.     Wizard of Oz

4.     Titanic

5.     Star Wars

  

I feel almost guilty putting Star Wars last considering how great everyone claims it is, but it just couldn’t beat the Titanic. 

In other news, check out some other movie-related blogs. They’re manned by people more film-literate than I am, I promise. The links are below:

Horror Movie Marathon

Stanton's Horror TV Shows

The Trailer Park

Disclaimer: Unless otherwise noted, all pictures are my own screenshots from the movies – you can use them however the hell you want. All gifs are from Tumblr, but I can give you the URL to any of them if you can’t find it yourself or are too lazy to look. 

Best Movie Reviewed So Far?
	The Matrix
	Titanic
	V for Vendetta
	Star Wars
pollcode.com free polls

Star Wars: Episode IV A New Hope

Synopsis: A civil war between the Rebel Alliance and the Galactic Empire is underway. The Rebel leader, Princess Leia, is captured by the Empire and it is up to Luke and friends rescue her.

Before we get started on the review I would like to take a second to point out the miracle of absurd movie-making. This is the picture on the Star Wars DVD cover. Please take note of the half-dressed and totally ripped representation of Luke – outlined in red.

Now take a peek at how Luke actually looks in the movie:

 Something is not adding up here. On the cover, I was promised a hot intergalactic princess: Check. A dazed-looking robot in the right corner: Check. A masked super villain: Check. And lastly, a ripped guy to fight him: No check. Who the hell is this twerp? Blasphemy, I say. Give me my money back, George Lucas!

But on with the review…

“A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away…” ancient civilizations possess the power of space travel, but cannot store Death Star blueprints on anything other than a floppy disk. That’s what I took away from this movie. I ignored any positive message that Star Wars had to offer, and focused on how things could be different if they only stored the plans digitally. But that’s a movie made in the 70s for you.

Like my review of Titanic, my favorite scene in A New Hope was when Luke returned to find his home destroyed and his parents incinerated. In theory, the concept is terrible. No body wishes to see a character’s life be demolished in a movie. But I lost sympathy when I saw the two droids start to stack the charred bodies together as if they were playing a game of Jenga. That was hilariously disrespectful to Luke’s loss.

Unfortunately, I couldn’t take a screen grab portraying the shock I felt watching the droids move the charred bodies. But I did manage to find Star Wars action figures depicting Luke’s Aunt and Uncle’s bodies after they were incinerated – and I thought I was morbid. Here’s a picture of them, from Nerdlikeyou.com:

  

You can buy these babies on Ebay, and play Charred Human Jenga at home!

Your Favorite Thing About Star Wars?
	Charred Human Jenga!
	Princess Leia, the only girl in this universe
	Luke's totally ripped abs
	Floppy disks
pollcode.com free polls

Star Wars Trailer

It’s about that time. “What time is this?” you ask. Time for a trailer review. Here’s how this works: periodically, I’ll watch an old movie trailer and decide if I will watch it. If I do, then the following day’s review will be of the chosen trailer movie.

The movies up for judgment are suggested movies from my audience, so if you think I should watch a certain movie – speak up! Got it? Good. Let’s jump right into today’s suggested trailer.  

That’s right – Star Wars. One of the movies that my real-world friends recommend the most is the Star Wars Saga. So why not start from the first?

I love old special effects. Since Star Wars was first released in 1977, I’m sure the cutting edge technology of the past will make me laugh. It’s hard to not see old films as silly today, especially when we have TVs that can screen 3D in our own homes.

Around 0:30 of the trailer, the narrator says this movie is about “a boy and a girl and a universe.” Wow, what a way to sum up a story in the biggest cliché possible, Narrator Man. As the trailer continues, the claims get more and more grandiose. I feel like I’m being offered the world; from describing it as “an epic of heroes” to having “aliens from a 1,000 worlds,” Star Wars thought of it all. What do viewers want? Aliens, romance, and rebellion according to Star Wars.

Will I watch this movie? Probably, but only because I saw Harrison Ford shooting a laser gun, while wearing what looks like a cowboy suit. And because of the way the logo exploded at the end of the trailer.